The New Hampshire mom who overdosed next to her two-year-old daughter in a store is speaking out about her battle with addiction.
Mandy McGowen, 36, is reportedly trying to get help and regain custody of her daughter, who is now in the state’s care.
McGowen told WBZ-TV in an exclusive interview that she was in a car with a friend on Sunday and had already sniffed fentanyl when she got a call to pick up her daughter at her stepson’s home. When her friend needed to go to Lawrence she decided to buy diapers at the local Family Dollar, but reportedly doesn't remember the rest.
The whole scene, however, was captured on a cell phone video that has now gone viral.
“If I knew I was going to be like that I wouldn’t have my daughter with me,” McGowen said in the interview where she opted to hide her face. “That’s not what I want her to see.”
She reportedly entered a local treatment program after the incident because she knows she hit rock bottom, but ended up having to leave due to lack of insurance.
She told WBZ-TV that in the past year her addiction has spiraled out of control.
“I want to learn to love myself again, to look in the mirror and be happy,” said McGowen.
In the video, McGowen’s daughter tries to wake her mother up but she lays on the ground motionless as the child cries in the toy aisle.
“It shouldn’t have happened period. I shouldn’t have taken anything or been where I was or who I was with,” she said. "Don’t judge me. I had a two-year-old there and where I go people are pointing and it hurts.”
According to reports, Police are still considering child endangerment charges for McGowen, whose name police didn’t release after the incident.
Lawrence police previously said the incident shows the darkest side of drug addiction that officers have seen.
“It’s very disturbing to see someone like this. It’s obvious addiction has overtaken them, to the point of not being able to care for their child,” said Chief James Fitzpatrick.