After five harrowing months, it was the ending no one wanted.
“My stomach was shaking, my hands were shaking because of the impact of the decision we had just made.” Said Bill Zevakos, the jury foreman in the Jodi Arias trial who is speaking out about what happened behind closed doors during jury deliberations.
The jury was deadlocked 8-4, with the majority reportedly voting to sentence Arias to death.
INSIDE EDITION'S Paul Boyd asked, "Do you have any sense of not finishing the job here?"
Zevakos replied, "Absolutely and it had a very strong impact on all of us."
Zevakos won't say which way he voted but reveals there were moments when emotions in th ejury room reached the boiling point..
Boyd asked, “Were there moments of contention during the death penalty phase?”
Zevakos replied, “There were moments of contention all the way through because every decision we made was huge. Everybody is so emotionally charged and we're having to control those emotions and it's only fair when does emotions bubble over but we're able to reel it back in."
He said Jodi’s 18 days on the stand actually hurt her case.
Zevakos said, “She was obviously lying about things and you know what happens when you tell a lie, you have to tell another lie and another lie. The longer she was on the stand the worse it was for her in that case.“
But the foreman said he did believe her claims that Travis Alexander abused her.
"I do believe that she was emotionally and verbally abused." Said Zevakos
He said he'll never forget the moment the guilty verdict was delivered.
Zevakos recalled, “I had vowed that I wasn't going to look at her but I did and seeing her face when that verdict was read, I will remember forever."
The suffering of Travis Alexander’s family had a profound impact.
Zevakos said, "You can't listen to that kind of hurt, the pain, the anguish, and not be touched."
And get this, he says he would actually like to reach out to Arias.
Boyd asked, "What would you say to Arias if you had a moment with her?"
Zevakos replied, “Yeah, I'd really like to talk to Jodi. But I'd like to ask her the questions that everybody wants to ask her. What really happened?"
Now the penalty phase will have to be done all over again with another jury. Bill Zevakos says finding another impartial jury will be almost impossible.
“I just think it's going to be brutally difficult and quite frankly i don't think it's fair.”