11:21 AM EDT, November 2, 2012
She's the girlfriend of Dr. Conrad Murray, the man convicted of killlng Michael Jackson.
Now, one year after the verdict that stunned the world, Nicole Alvarez is breaking her silence. In this INSIDE EDITION exclusive, Alvarez reveals startling new details about Murray's life behind bars.
INSIDE EDITION's Jim Moret said, "You are in love with one of the most hated men in America."
"He's lost a lot of weight, down about 25 pounds," said Alvarez.
Alvarez got worldwide attention when she testified at Murray's manslaughter trial in a revealing outfit, and it was this statement from her that raised a lot of eyebrows:
"As a professional actress, my daily duties consist of maintaining my instrument."
An attorney asked, "When you refer to an instrument, what are you referring to?"
"Myself. As an actor, your instrument is yourself," replied Alvarez.
"It was memorable and I'm sure you thought, 'What did I just say,' " said Moret.
"Yes," said Alvarez.
She met Dr. Murray in 2005 at a nightclub in Las Vegas and she says they quickly fell in love.
Moret asked, "Do you love Conrad Murray?"
"Absolutely," replied Alvarez.
"And you stood by him," said Moret.
Moret asked, "And continue to stand by him?"
"Yes," said Alvarez.
In March 2009, three months before Jackson died from a Propofol overdose, Alvarez gave birth to their son, Che.
"Where does your son think his dad is?" asked Moret.
She replied, "He believes he is working. He has asked me several times, 'Mom, where is poppy?'"
Murray, a cardiologist, was hired by Jackson to be his personal physician as he prepared to embark on his final concert tour.
Murray has been portrayed as a drug pusher but Alvarez says he actually did his best to get Jackson off drugs.
"He was trying to clean up the mess and it just fell. It fell on him. He was like the hot potato," said Alvarez.
At the trial, the prosecution portrayed Murray as a womanizer. It wasn't just Alvarez who took the stand. There was another girlfriend. Then another. And another. A total of four beautiful young women, including an exotic dancer.
Moret asked, "Did you feel betrayed at all when you saw these women come up and talk about their relationship with him?"
Alvarez sighed, "Initially, I did because I thought, 'What an idiot. What am I doing here? Why am I still standing here by your side?' "
This is the first time since the day the guilty verdict was read that Alvarez watched the video of that moment, and it was difficult for her to watch.
"That was awful. I can't even watch. I don't want to watch the rest," she said.
Murray was handcuffed and taken away to begin serving four years at Los Angeles' notorious Twin Towers Jail. He's being held in solitary confinement.
Each week, Alvarez is allowed three phone calls and two visits in person. INSIDE EDITION joined her today as she made her way to the jail.
Alvarez described her visit, saying, "I sit down at this window. It's a glass window. I try to get there after they have uncuffed him, because it can't stomach it."
Moret asked, "You put your hand to the glass?"
"Yeah, we'll put our hand up to the glass or he'll give me a hug and I give him a hug and we'll hug each other like this," said Alvarez.
Murray maintains his innocence, and Alvarez says he has no reason to apologize for his role in the death of Michael Jackson.
"He definitely is sorry for the loss, but to be apologetic is to accept fault," she said.