Dad of 3 Posts Viral Letter About the Things He Would Have Told His 'Childless Self'

Ted Gonder wrote a letter to his "childless self."
Ted Gonder

Ted Gonder, 29, posted the note on his Facebook.

A dad shared a letter to his “24-year-old childless self" in a heartwarming Facebook post. 

After the birth of his third child this past summer, Ted Gonder, 29, said he was able to enjoy paternity leave and ponder what he’d learned throughout the years of being a husband and dad. 

One of the major lessons was, “Wifey carried baby IN her belly for 9 months. So you carry baby ON your belly for 9 months every chance you get. Not only does it help her recover but it bonds you to your kid more than imaginable.”

Along with, “Make her the decaf coffee every morning. Even if she leaves it cold and forgets to drink it most mornings because she falls back asleep while you're working or (later) taking the kids to school. She was up all night feeding the baby so help start her day in a way that helps her reset.”

Gonder, who lives in Germany with his family, said he wrote the post because it has been hard for him to find “good dad advice” along his journey.

Some of the other tips included: "Tell her she’s beautiful when she doesn’t feel like it, take the heat [because] hormones are crazy pre and post birth," and "change every diaper you can."

These tips have helped his family thrive, he said.

“I’ve become more comfortable and intuitively attuned to my kids now than I was at the beginning, and that is just what happens with experience,” Gonder told “More interesting has been how my wife and I have grown as a team. We choose every day to invest in each other, support each other’s goals, and lean into ‘difficult’ conversations.”

The dad said he wasn’t expecting the post to go viral, but he now he sees why it did.

“The topic struck a chord with folks because it hits on a lot of themes that are important today: gender equality, masculinity, and modern parenting,” Gonder said. “Thousands of people wrote to me and my wife to share their stories and it was so enlightening.”

The post has been shared more than 55,000 times. 

“Truly disturbing to hear of how many men decide to ignore their partners’ and kids’ needs. They don’t know what they’re missing! But on the other hand it was so encouraging to see literally hundreds of thousands of women tagged their partners thanking them for being their rock,” he added.