What Are St. Louis-Style Sliced Bagels? Internet Appalled After Seeing Breakfast Item Sliced Vertically

"Thank you for reporting this crime," the NYPD Chief of Detectives responded.

You know what a sliced bagel is, but what about a St. Louis-style sliced bagel?

Midwesterner Alek Krautmann is now under fire for tweeting a picture of his bagel order, which he dubbed “the St. Louis secret.”

Instead of being sliced horizontally like a sandwich, the bagels, ordered from Panera Bread, had several vertical slices, like a loaf of bread.

While Krautmann argued it made more surface area for cream cheese and other spreads, New Yorkers flooded Twitter with their shock and disgust.

“I’m reporting you to my rabbi,” one woman responded.

Another commented, “This feels like something that should get someone sent to Gitmo.”

The incident was apparently so offensive even law enforcement had to step in.

"Thank you for reporting this crime, but we only serve New York City, where this would NEVER happen," NYPD Chief of Detectives Dermot F. Shea tweeted.

The NYPD Patrol Borough Staten Island responded: "Which is the greater offense? Bagels from Panera (seriously???) or the ridiculous way they are sliced?"

Luckily, queen of the internet Chrissy Teigen stepped in to end the debate once and for all.

“vote NO on prop: slicingbagels,” she tweeted, but clarified, “I mean you can, and should, slice them once, horizontally.”